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feeling a little crazy

Posted by messadivoce on August 23, 2005, at 0:54:22

Okay, so I'm getting married in June to a guy I've been dating for 4 years and absolutely adore. So that's good. And then I also started a new job at a university in administration, and classes started this week, so things are CRAZY CRAZY but still good because I'm learning fast and enjoying it.

So I told myself when I started planning my wedding that after all the stuff my fiance and I have been through, this would be easy. Getting through my depression, his injuries, our family woes, that was all work. This would be just play.

Wrong again.

His 20 year old sister just got engaged to a guy she's not been dating very long. She's a complete opposite of my fiance (no job, no ambition, no college) and while our engagement has been expected for awhile, theirs was fast. Unfortunately it's possible they may get married before us. And I know it's childish and selfish, but I feel like I'm ENTITLED to be married before her, and people should focus on MY wedding before her's. There, aren't I a selfish bitch?

And why do I feel like this wedding is life or death? Why do I feel as though if I DON'T get a guest list from my mother in law by next weekend, I might become a little unglued?

His family likes me and thinks I'm sane. Little do they know. My fiance tells me to breathe, and calm down. I am not normally like this. If I keep this up I will be dead from the stress by my wedding day. :-(

I need perspective and chocolate and margueritas.


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poster:messadivoce thread:545503
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