Posted by Miss Honeychurch on May 25, 2005, at 15:18:29
In reply to My obsession, posted by tampagirl70 on May 25, 2005, at 13:45:02
I think the CBT way to deal with the situation is to stop AWFULIZING the concept of not loving your husband. I have found CBT always prepares you for the worst and it never is the worst of course.
But what if you said to yourself something along the lines of "It would be unfortunate if I found out I didn't love my husband, but it would not be the end of the world and we would both be able to move on."
You will find one of the main teachings of CBT is stop the awfulizing. Even awfulizing language like "I hate hotdogs" or "I can't stand Birkenstocks!" is off limits. INstead, you would say "I dislike hotdogs" and "Birkenstocks may be ugly, but they won't kill me."
So, maybe you could start setting yourself up for the worst? And I'm about 99.99% sure that you will indeed find that you truly love your husband by the way!
CBT also takes the shoulds and musts off of us. So perhaps you are approaching the situation with "I absolutely MUST love my husband" You could always counter it with "I would prefer to love my husband"
Maybe my guy does extreme CBT, but these are some of the skills which have helped me the most.
poster:Miss Honeychurch
thread:502754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/502788.html