Posted by corafree on March 28, 2005, at 20:56:12
In reply to Re: Security At Expense of Hunger for Life » corafree, posted by partlycloudy on March 28, 2005, at 14:53:27
Just a bit of fear of losing my hunger for life in the 55+ surroundings ... afraid I'll succumb to the suggestion (the suggestion I hear in my thoughts) that it is a place where people go when they've stopped dreaming.
Dreaming, risking, feeling like a child so much of the time; maybe you all have already picked up on that as my personality from posts.
Just had in-home T visit. She said, "I'm afraid you'll not have enough activity going on around you and you may be even more prone to isolate at the 55+ park."
Right partlycloudy - a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on, a door that secures me from harm. If you'd written what I did, I would have told you the same thing!!! Tks so much. It's just that doing it for self is hard!
Labeling (that awful word) borderline and/or bipolar-2 must lend me that 'I am not worthy' attitude.
I was just writing some goals for another T.
At the end, I said I cannot do the goals until I learn what/why/when I lost, or if ever I had, love for self.
Unlike many in DBT, I haven't a particular incident, or series of incidents, from which to explain my Ziggy behavior.
I wish to know what triggered my notion that I am bad. One T says it is unimportant.
I say it is very important to me. Why? Because I have never been able to see things black and white, accept things at face value. I have a need to dissect things.
Something, sometime, went awry, and this is where I need to start from; to begin forgiving, whether it is myself or another. W/o that, I don't think can begin to achieve my goals.
thank you, cf
poster:corafree
thread:475399
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050316/msgs/476941.html