Posted by sunny10 on February 22, 2005, at 11:59:35
In reply to everything is ok and then its not, posted by shellybelle911 on February 22, 2005, at 1:22:55
please don't isolate yourself, shellybelle911.
If you are sick of others telling you what to do, start telling yourself what to do.
I know that sounds weird, but I have always had such low self-esteem, that I let little things slide, then bigger things, then huge things, and became a doormat; just because I was afraid of always being alone.
I was afraid of being alone because I thought I would bore myself to death- and because I thought I was such a mess that I needed someone to take care of me.
I attracted every SOB out there.... I was like a human crap magnet. The predator can sense the meek in all living creatures, you know...and they will prey on whatever they can. Remember, too, that there is something wrong with them, to "need" to have these types of relationships... I was not the only "wrong" person in any relationship- it takes two.
My T told me to find some hobbies, join some clubs (formed around my interests- not to meet people), and get to know and like the person I found inside me.
It has helped a great deal. I no longer need anyone. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy relationships- and a lot more, now that I am comfortable enough to know who is right for me...I can now drop those in my life who were more exhausting than they were supportive and nurturing.
Now I strive for a 50-50 relationship and will accept nothing less. I took back my own power, so to speak (with the exception of my dysfunctional family, that is... I'm still struggling to work through that and to let them meet- little by little- the person I have become)
I hope that pep talk helps! If not, swear at me to your computer screen- that'll help, too !
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:461645
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050215/msgs/461767.html