Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2005, at 13:49:17
In reply to Re: please rephrase that - PS Dr. Bob, posted by Angel Girl on January 23, 2005, at 13:28:30
> I felt and still do, that this poster payed extremely little *concern* for my feelings.
I have struggled with the civility rules too. When talking about my response to Lou even :-) All I can say is that it is something that becomes clearer over time - though I admit I still struggle with it a bit at times. I do think that there is a logic there, but one that is hard to make explicit. I do think that there is a benefit to being able to follow the civility rules. I have come to see that some things aren't acceptable that I thought were fine. And I have also come to understand WHY they are not ok.
Ok. My best shot would be:
I think the issue is that tagging 'I feel' on the front of something is often not enough to moderate what goes after. Sometimes it is, but in some instances it is not. This is one of the latter. To say that you felt that the poster showed extremely little concern for your feelings is to say that you didn't accept either (a) that Lou did not intentionally hurt you or (b) that his apology to you was not genuine.
Lou isn't profuse with apologies.
IMO he was genuine and that is the best you (or anyone) will get.
I would like to hear what other people think if anyone else has ideas...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:445691
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050123/msgs/446264.html