Posted by verne on December 16, 2004, at 20:47:02
In reply to Forum people problems, posted by Shortelise on December 14, 2004, at 18:31:13
ShortE,
A statement like, "It often annoys me when people write what Ms. X and Ms. Y have written", doesn't leave much room for further discussion. I can see how X and Y may not respond favorably. The point of the discussion becomes one person's annoyance and not the medication being discussed.
Then a statement like, "Sorry, Ms. X, I can see you are annoyed by my post." assumes too much about the other person. We need to let other people feel or think on their own. When we try to read their minds or feelings, we invalidate their real feelings and thoughts.
And there was another statement where someone suggested someone else had a "passive-aggressive vibe". Even if it were true, it's best left unsaid, since how can someone be "argued out of" a passive-aggressive vibe? Some of the fear and anger in the passive aggressive vibe could be on both sides.
I think the trouble with the exchange you describe is an overstepping into other peoples' feelings, thoughts, and reactions - and even anticipating their reactions. Let the other person feel, think, and react on their own and real communication may follow.
verne
poster:verne
thread:429615
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041209/msgs/430507.html