Posted by partlycloudy on December 7, 2004, at 17:35:05
Not to be confused with Oprah's "Ah-Ha!" Moment.
This post encompasses several boards, but I choose to post it here because it's my favourite :)
So: I'm trying to figure out all this Higher Power stuff in aa and struggling like so many do. I made a mistake in posting on another board here while I was trying to figure it out, felt a bit awkward and intimidated (no one's fault but my own, as usual), and then regrouped myself. Harder to do than it sounds.
So: I'm thinking, gee, I try to meditate and I'm not really getting anywhere but slightly less anxious sometimes. My old (*sob!*) therapist was encouraging me to join a meditation group that meets once a week and since it meets in a church I told myself it gave me the heebie jeebies. If you ever want to get talked out of anything, just babblemail me, OK? I didn't go to a meditation group because it meets in a church. Great rationale.
And I'm thinking, my brain is hurting I'm thinking so hard, let's see, who meditates? Who can I tag along with for meditation lessons? Is the Dyslexic Dog really in my navel or am I spinning my wheels here? And, eureka! Buddhists meditate like, all the time, right?
So: I google (doesn't that make the world's best verb of this decade?) Buddhism and find a site and I start to read and s-l-o-w-l-y it dawns on me that I've been doing it all bass akwards. Try to find Dog with one part of me so I can give in to that higher power, and trying to meditate and find peace with another part of me. Those things aren't connected, as far as I knew. One has to do with me finding or defining my faith, the other has to do with being able to stop the spinning of my thoughts and the anxiety I feel. I do a bit more reading, look up local groups of Buddhist groups and guess what I find?
The only local listing is the meditation group that meets in the church that I don't want to go to.
This kind of stuff gets me all excited and enthusiastic. I just go ga-ga over coincidences, because there are no such things.Anyways, I was so happy to figure out the riddle of my life and pursuit of happiness that I just had to share.
poster:partlycloudy
thread:425828
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041202/msgs/425828.html