Posted by Toph on November 11, 2004, at 8:05:05
In reply to Re: black dog sad » Toph, posted by shortelise on November 11, 2004, at 1:06:12
You're very welcome, but I make no claim to expertese in this. You paint descriptive images that one can easily relate to. Last night I was thinking of your two fears and couldn't see how they are related. Then I thought maybe they are out of order, if cancer consumes you literally or psychicly you probably will end up being dropped down a dark hole. I don't say this in a predictive way, only that your depression must grab you in a very threatening way. As an artist its understandable that you would fear depression smothering your creativity like a blanket.
As a bipolar I can also identify with you fear of ending anxiety, a natural motivator. Manic episodes, though highly destructive for me, are very seductive because in this psychotic state I am grandiose and have boundless energy. Most bipolars flirt dangerously with hypo-mania because these experiences are so energizing.
On the down side, depression for me isn't death, just plain unrelenting torture. I have been fortunate to have avoided a clinicl depression for a long time, but I always dread its return.
Sorry for all the gloom and doom, SortE. I hope you are coming to terms with your depression. As I see it, they are emotional experiences that can provide inspiration for your artistic expression. If you express yourself in some medium as you do in words, it must be a sight to see.
-Toph
poster:Toph
thread:413648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/414500.html