Posted by Fi on October 28, 2004, at 15:29:23
In reply to What does this mean? (possible trigger), posted by saw on October 26, 2004, at 2:57:11
Hi Sabrina
I think its often part of depression to long for a bit of peace, and get rather preoccupied with thinking about death (whether or not killing yourself). Its a good idea to talk to someone about this (therapist, pdoc or whatever) as that can make the thoughts a bit less scarey.
And it may help to reduce them if the options you are thinking about wouldnt be easy in real life- only get small supplies of pills at one time; get your husband to put his gun somewhere you cant get at it?
So we love the idea of peace and quiet and the end of the exhausting fight thru the days. Its good to feel that we have a choice.
However, it wouldnt actually be like that. As mentioned, there is the risk you make a mess of it and end up feeling dreadful emotionally *and* having horrendous physical problems. And you wont have that wonderful feeling of peace-you wouldnt be feeling anything as you would be dead.
Sounds like you are feeling under a lot of pressure- are there ways you can reduce the pressure or change how you deal with them?
I think part of coping with these preoccupations is being aware that it is a very understandable thing to want and daydream about, but that this is completely different from what the reality would be. I've worked out 3 different ways I could die, with all the little details sorted out. Ironically, the one time I was desperate I didnt consider any of them- it would have been something easier, and unplanned.
You say you arent suicidal, which is good. If you feel tempted to act on your thoughts, seek help first instead. You can always change your mind later. You might feel easier if the equipment you feel most fascinated about werent easily available.
Anyway, I suppose I am more relaxed about these thoughts than you are. Part of the hassle of depression, but harmless as long as the thoughts dont upset you, and that they stay thoughts rather than actions.
Fi
poster:Fi
thread:407319
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041026/msgs/408450.html