Posted by Fi on October 18, 2004, at 14:55:35
In reply to here it comes again, posted by kellyr. on October 18, 2004, at 11:37:21
Can you make a deal with yourself to stay alive at least till the doctor's appointment? I know that the hours in between may be very hard, but they will pass.
Ring your pdoc or a crisis line if it all gets too overwhelming. Or before it gets that bad, to help you get through. Hopefully, your husband is around a lot and supportive. If he's not (eg out at work during the day), spend time with any supportive friends or family you can be with.
Ignore the rest of the message if you cant handle more- please stick with us and dont give up!
I know how devastating it is to get ill *again*, and the effort to keep going. I was completely overwhelmed when yet another episode started at the beginning of the year.
At that point, I regretted having got rid of a method I had that would have been a neat solution. But I am incredibly grateful that I didnt have an easy way out, and kept going. OK, there are still problems in my life, but when I feel well they arent so hard to deal with.
Ignore the voices as much as you can- they are just a reflection of how you think and feel at the moment.
Its also absolutely definite that your husband (and the rest of your family, your friends)would be devastated if you killed yourself. Suicide is never the 'tidy' option we wish it could be when we are really down. What I wanted, and guess others do, is the idea of just erasing my life, like I never existed. And somehow doing that in a way that wouldnt leave a messy body that someone would have to find. Immensely distressing for them. We cant have it the way we would like. Cant be done.
I would suggest that your husband arranges to keep the guns away from the house *now*, rather than after Thursday? Maybe he has friends or family who could keep them for him, just till you are better? If that is a problem for some reason, he should keep them securely locked up (if they arent already) and make sure you can never get near the key.
You will get better again, however hard it is to believe. Its also absolutely definite that your husband would be devastated if you killed yourself -suicide is never the 'tidy' option we wish it could be when really down.
Just keep going, one minute at a time if necessary.If you dont believe you will ever get better, remember that I thought that too and did! So can you.
Of course, I will be thinking of you and willing you on. As will others on this board, I'm sure.
Fi
poster:Fi
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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041016/msgs/404451.html