Posted by Emme on October 4, 2004, at 23:07:40
In reply to A post with no purpose, posted by partlycloudy on October 4, 2004, at 12:02:10
I can feel your weariness and I can sympathize with an awful lot of it. It's all an endurance test, isn't it? You may be weary, but you're also so resilient. Give yourself a lot of credit for keeping at it with work and for giving everyone here so much kindness.
I hope you feel better. And I'm glad to see your punctuation is back. (((PC)))Oh, and this post has a perfectly legitimate purpose.
> Except to say that I tired of feeling tired. Of feeling nauseous, cranky, weepy, sore, angry, frightened, panicked, anxious. I'm tired of migraine headaches. I'm tired of congnitive problems, not knowing where I am on the drive home from work. I want to feel - nothing. I don't care if I feel good, I just don't want to feel this bad any more. I have a list of people as long as my arm whom I'm ticked off at, probably for no good reason at all. I'm tired of feeling embarassed about my anxious and panic attacks. I can live without drinking but at least it took me away from this awfulness, even if it made it much worse later. I'm tired of my mind thinking of things for my "to do" list that I'll never get to. I'm tired of feeling guilty for not getting to them.
>
> I wish I didn't have to work but I think it is the only thing keeping me going sometimes. But - I'm tired of keeping up appearances, pasting that smile on my face when I want to curl up under my desk.
>
>
OK, that's enough for now. At least I'm back to using capital letters and punctuation.
> pc
poster:Emme
thread:398801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041001/msgs/399000.html