Posted by 4WD on September 14, 2004, at 21:20:13 [reposted on September 15, 2004, at 18:54:12 | original URL]
In reply to Re: feels like nothing means anything... » 4WD, posted by alesta on September 14, 2004, at 21:01:41
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> hi, marsha:),
> you are so sweet, and a good friend to me on pb.:)yes, i agree, i was thinking that, too, about the depression, after i wrote that post..you're absolutely right. the depression is not as bad as it was that day..the antidepressant is kicking in more now (i upped my dosage, too). i tend to start looking for external gratification when i'm depressed as a last resort..and it never satisfies...plus i'm not eating much at all and that can't be helping..there's so much going on right now..i just broke up with my bf after a particularly cruel streak on his part. and i spent hours comforting him previous to that..not that he has ever cared when i'm upset. he is threatening violence and i have just got to get out..but i have no plan whatsoever and no means to leave..i have to find another job that won't involve contact with him..a daunting task..i hope those prayers come in handy, or i am really SOL. this could be the beginning or the end for me. life feels really impossible right now.
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> thank you for your prayers and for thinking of me.
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> Love,:)
> Amy
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>
Hi Amy,The best thing that ever happened to me was when my first husband and I decided to get a divorce. It sure didn't feel like it at the time. I was terrified and had no idea how I was going to take care of myself. I never had had to.
I had just started graduate school when we broke up. I had to move to a different town, transfer my classes, find an apartment and a way to support myself (and my eating disorder) and learn to take care of myself. Trust me. When you HAVE to do it, you can.
I was terrified. But things just fell into place. It's amazing how stuff like that works out.
You will be better off without a cruel boyfriend. You have probably been devoting so much of your energies to him that you have none left for yourself. And as bad as he is, I bet he is a sort of "safety net" for you. Like you have him to fall back on if things are hard. But I truly believe that if you believe in yourself, you can take care of yourself way better than he ever could.I guess what I am trying to say is that I believe you are stronger than you know. If you are in a position where you have to swim or drown, I think you would be one of the ones who would swim. I believe in you.
I won't be posting again for several days after tonight because there is a hurricane headed directly for my house (near Mobile, AL). I just wanted to tell you that so you wouldn't wonder where I had disappeared to.
God has answered so many of my prayers. He will help you too.
Love,
Marsha
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poster:4WD
thread:391227
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040914/msgs/391227.html