Posted by ghost on August 16, 2004, at 15:46:16
last year, i broke up with my gf of 3.5 years for several reasons, not the least of which being that she needed emotional help and wouldn't get it. she once had a panic attack and i took her to the ER in the middle of the night. she started therapy through school soon after, but it didn't seem to help. (found out later that the quality of the therapy at school sucked anyway.) of course, i'm chicken, and i just said that it was because i didn't want a long distance relationship when i went to grad school.
anyhow, she was always the sort to say "are you really that bad?" when i'd talk about my health (mental or otherwise), and that's another good reason i broke up with her. she was also very passive-aggressive.
but for some reason i still care about her, and we still keep in touch. not about a lot of important things, but sometimes we talk about important things.
a few wks ago she told me she felt "psycho" and wouldn't say anything more. i didn't hear from her until today. i had a bad feeling about her "psycho" comment, and even called her at home (we never talk on the phone, always messenger) and left a message that i was worried. anyhow, today she left me a message saying she'd tried to cut her wrists all up and didn't show up to work for two (she's not sure how many, actually) days, at which point her job called her emergency contact (her dad), who took her to a doctor. (I don't know if it was an ER or what, but she was never hospitalized). she's now on meds for depression and anxiety, so maybe this will be a good thing.
but i'm angry. i don't know if i'm angry that i saw this coming a mile away a year ago, or angry that she never cared about me but i find myself caring about her or angry/jealous that she has healthcare and can get the help she needs... all of the above... or something else entirely. maybe i'm just selfish. i probably am. i don't know how to deal with this.
so i took a nap. it was the best nap i've ever had, actually, because i was so upset i was almost in tears (on top of the fact that my bf had a small seizure today, it was more than I could handle)... it was a nice nap snuggled up with my bf and gf (i'll take questions about my relationship later *smirk*), and when i woke up, i felt a million times better.
but that doesn't change the way things are with the exgf. she's ill. but i guess she's seeking help. and it's not my problem because we're broken up.
i don't expect a response... i'm just venting here because it's pretty much the only anonymous place i've got these days. so if you read this far, thanks for listening.
ghost
poster:ghost
thread:378318
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/378318.html