Posted by JenStar on July 30, 2004, at 10:42:42
In reply to I'm trying to be assertive, but its so hard!, posted by TexasChic on July 30, 2004, at 9:49:25
One more comment - I think it's really important to do face-to-face discussions with "Jane" about this. I'd recommend talking to her. 'Jane, did you get a chance to read my email? No? Well, can we coffee and talk for 15 minutes? It's really important for me to tell you something and get some feedback from you in return."
Writing an email was a good start, and I applaud you for your courage. The problem with email alone, though, is severalfold -- the recipient often can misunderstand your meaning, take offense when none was intended, or just ignore the email completely. And it leaves you in the uncomfortable position of not even knowing when (or if!) she'll read it.
Even if it's hard for you, I encourage you to make time to talk face to face with "Jane" and with "R." You may have to psyche yourself up for this as if you were running a race. Probably you'll get sweaty palms, racing heart, sick stomach. But you'll also be so proud of yourself for dealing with this difficult situation head-on. And it will get easier to constructively confront someone when it's needed in the future.
Again, good luck! I wish you the best.JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:372303
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040725/msgs/372326.html