Posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 29, 2004, at 8:58:37
In reply to To JenStar, posted by cubic_me on July 29, 2004, at 8:22:04
Jen,
I have had similar problems in the past. Very needy friends who I didn't like. And I could never get out of these relationships. Until (drumroll....) therapy. The main reason why I never ended these energy sucky relationships was that I wanted everyone to like me, even people I didn't like. I couldn't bear the thought of someone being mad at me and actually (gasp!) disliking me.
I have now learned that if I want to be ahealthy person, I must be my own gatekeeper and allow only people into my life whom I care for and who are not psychologically bad for me. I am finally getting the self-love I need in order to fianlly say NO. And that's what it is in my opinion. You have to love and respect yourself enough to stop wasting time on people who are bad for you, even if it means hurting them or having them mad at you.
Chemistry is chemistry. I don't think it is possible for you to turn this woman into a real friend if those feelings haven't been there from the beginning. She needs a shrink, big time. And like others have said, she is using you for this. This is not respectful to you.
poster:Miss Honeychurch
thread:371845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040725/msgs/371968.html