Posted by SandyWeb on July 24, 2004, at 7:03:19
In reply to Re: Why is Babble..... » SandyWeb, posted by Poet on July 24, 2004, at 0:16:26
Hi all,
I know I don't owe an explanation, but my reaction was too big for what the situation was. I just couldn't seem to stop crying last night. At the computer, in the washroom, even laying in bed. And when I woke this morning, this whole event was the first thought I had.
I think that I thought I was "just one of the girls." I don't post on as many threads as you all do, but I read a lot of them and I feel as though I know you all. You guys throw out comments, and that's exactly what I did....just an observation that was not intended as any sort of attack on anyone. It was just an after-thought that I had before I walked out the door to the grocery store.
When I later saw the responses, it hurt me soooo much. I think the reason for that is because it pointed out that I wasn't "just one of the girls." I felt so utterly rejected. Even now, as I write this, I can feel my eyes starting to well up. I don't have a lot to hang onto right now in my life, and I guess that's why the rejection just cut me to the core. I thought I was one of you, and so I let my guard down some and was posting. Time to protect myself again. It's just too dangerous for me right now.
Yes, I know all about the flame war out there now. And KK, I know that you are hurting and acting out of character from what we know of you. My comment had NOTHING to do with any of that. Believe me, I would be the last person to stick my nose into any type of situation like that. I would fall apart if I got slammed back.
I think maybe why I posted my little observation was because of Admin. I had sent a message a few days ago, just stating that we sometimes get so engrossed in our own problems that we can tend to not notice when another person is acting differently. I then asked if Dr. Bob was doing okay, because he seems to be involved less and less with Babble. I hoped he was doing well. And then someone named "Mister" posted a reply that I really didn't understand. My posting was just an innocent question, asking if Dr. Bob was okay. I think it just made me sigh when "Mister" made light of it. I don't know.
I'll keep myself to my threads now. I'm too unstable right now to handle rejection. Like I said, I can't seem to find a whole heck of a lot to keep me going.....and when I discovered that I wasn't "just one of the girls", I nearly caved in. Nope, I don't interact well with you guys obviously. That's a HUGE failure in my personality. It's safer just to stick to conversations about the weather and the time of day. And why do I still cry one day later?? *sigh*
Sorry, guys. Foot-in-mouth disease.
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:369634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040717/msgs/369872.html