Posted by karen_kay on July 22, 2004, at 17:56:15
In reply to Re: i'm still sorry. » karen_kay, posted by justyourlaugh on July 22, 2004, at 16:41:47
i emailed you. and i'm not trying to make you feel bad, but i cried and i cried because i hurt you. and i've cried today several times because i remember that i hurt you. that in turn hurts me. and i still hurt, something i can't change dear, as much as i wish i could. i'm still reaching dear.
the gossip thread. i have to pick and choose. is it better to just not post at all? is that the best thing for me? it honestly hurts me that i leave people out. if i do it, it's my own personal fault, not theirs. i wish i could do it all, but i'm human and i make mistakes. i wish i didn't. but i fuck up sometimes. i wish i didn't hurt people, but i do. i try to stay in contact with people off the boards that i care about, even if i miss them on the boards. honestly, i wish i could do it all, but i can't. it's my problem. and i'm sorry people are hurt by my problems.but this place sucks me in and i'm already trapped here far too many hours in a day. to think i could devote any more of my time here would be even more dangerous and irresponsible for me. i'm already pissing my life away.
honestly miss jyl, i'm sorry i didn't mention you in that post. i'm sorry i didn't mention texas chick. i'm sorry i missed sar when she was here. i'm sorry i didn't meet many of the great people who were here a long time ago. i'm sorry i never see kid around anymore. i'm sorry my mom can't tell me she loves me. i'm sorry my ddad loved me too much. i'm sorry i'm half dead. i'm sorry i quit everything i start. i'm sorry i leave all of my friends. i'm sorry i never call anyone back. i'm sorrry i drop everything when something new or better comes around. i'm sorry for many things right now. i'm sorry i can't write. i'm sorry i can't spell. i'm sorry i can't keep my life straight. and i'm sorry you have to listen to this.
poster:karen_kay
thread:369024
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040717/msgs/369101.html