Posted by just plain jane on July 22, 2004, at 0:31:27
In reply to Re: all right my computer failed me right as I was.... » Jai Narayan, posted by tabitha on July 21, 2004, at 22:59:09
I understand your situation, Jai. I realized I am empathic years ago, but couldn't get anyone to perceive what I experience.
Funny, but the character from Star Trek, The Next Generation, Counselor Deanna Troi, opened the eyes of some of my acquaintances. As if having "hyperempathy" only became a real thing once someone put it on a TV show. The odd thing about that is that Troi was only half human, and the empath features only came with her alien heritage.
Do you suppose this means we are half alien??? (chuckling)
tabitha,
Yes, being empathic can be extremely intrusive. it can also handicap, if one does not realize that very few people are like they are. I was ostracized as a child in all social arenas because I was so sensitive to others' feelings. This treatment of me was the one thing which eluded my understanding.
I stretched myself very thin for the people I knew. It wasn't until years later that I understood that these people I had helped and cared so much about did not have an inkling of how I felt. Most of them were just users. I don't regret helping any of them, though.
In recent years I have managed to learn how to be social without giving myself up to everyone. It can be very difficult to stand by, knowing that someone is hurting, to restrain myself when I know that someone is a user, and worse, an abuser. My innate tendency is to respond to what I perceive, but I am finally, at age 48, capable of a type of detachment. It is something I have to consciously exercise, in order to keep myself in focus.
I was recently diagnosed (categorized) by the psychiatrist who runs the mental health department where I receive counseling. His conclusions were PD NOS (personality disorder - not otherwise specified), PTSD, OCD, Agoraphobia, and Anxiety & Panic Disorders. I believe a good deal of these have been caused, at least in part, by my hyperempathy and inability to reconcile what I feel with how the rest of society perceives and behaves. Especially the PD NOS classification. In my case, I have been labelled "weird" by my social world. PD NOS is, to me, just a place to put all us weird people who the shrinks can't otherwise diagnose, or understand. And, in my case, I am weird because I am an empath.
poster:just plain jane
thread:368291
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040717/msgs/368829.html