Posted by SandyWeb on July 15, 2004, at 12:12:24
I happened to witness a crime the night before last. It occurred at about 3am, and I saw it out my window. The cops arrived at the scene pretty soon afterwards, and were looking for "the guy". They were moving around the neighborhood with flashlights, trying to find him hidden somewhere. And I didn't advise that I had seen him, knew what he looked like and what he was wearing, and I saw the direction in which he walked away.
As many of you know, I had the cops arrive at my door many, many, many times over a span of about three months.
I am so paranoid now of the police. Every time I hear someone walking firmly down the apartment complex hallway, I know it's the cops. I feel sick to my stomach and I freak out. Night is the worse. I just know they will be knocking late at night. I am just so paranoid that they will be back, and I hear them in the hallway all the time.
When the crime was committed, I could not call the police. I was so freaked out with seeing the cop cars and the officers and the flashlights. I was shaking and whispering to myself, "Please go away, just go away, please leave, please go away..." I had to close my window so that they weren't so loud. I crawled back under the covers and plugged my ears, shaking and talking to myself. I was so scared of them.
I know this is irrational. I know the cops have no reason to suddenly show up at my door again. But I almost feel traumatized. I can't help what is happening with me. I hear them out there in the hallway....I know I'll be hearing that familiar knock on my door at any moment. I know that they aren't really out there, but.....every noise out there is the cops. I am so freaked out.
I know I should report what I saw, but I can't. I can't be involved with the police again. I am scared to talk with them again, to see them again. I don't want them near me. I don't want to speak with them. I would be shaking and freaking out, and then they'd take me to the hospital again. I don't want them to see me again.
How do I stop thinking that they are walking down my hallway?
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:366498
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/366498.html