Posted by desufnoc on July 8, 2004, at 21:10:43
I'm new here in case anyone was wondering who this person was writing about them. (ahem, kk) But I couldn't resist saying something. I love the overwhelmingly postive attitude; it was enjoyable to read what you have to say to others, as well as what you wrote about making it a point to NOT let your day turn sour. You also inspired me to share a little story that perhaps you and others can relate to.
This past Tuesday I had an appointment to see my Mdoc at 2:15PM. I awoke that morning around 9:30AM, ate breakfast, read some of the paper, and then decided I wanted to lay in bed and read a book knowing that falling asleep was inevitable. (interesting story, I know!) Sleep comes, I wake up around 1:30 or 1:45PM. I wasn't really awake though, kind of in a haze, and I decided that I didn't want to go to the doc. I didn't want to deal with whether or not my meds are working well. I didn't want to be this person that has to have an AD that may or may not be the "right" one. As long as I've been dealing with my depression and anxiety (about a year now), I have had times of tolerating my situation and times of abhorring it. But my not going to the doc on Tuesday resulted in a chain of events that made me think about my decision to NOT accept my situation. I've been longing to be someone else, to be somewhere else in my life, to just get this all over with and move on, but what I finally realized was that I had to accept that there was a battle to fight within before I could actually fight it. The power of thought has driven me to my deepest depths, yet here rational thinking was to salvage me on this journey that I never fully acknowledged.
So I guess I just wanted to say that your focus on positive, rational thinking is just as enabling as negative, worrisome thinking can be crippling. Although I know how hard it is to come to such clarity when you are lower than low.
One more thing b4 I go...KK, you can be a Joy Maker no matter what job you get, as long as you can interact with people and have the opportunity to showcase your talent. Best of luck on the job hunt!
Peace. b
poster:desufnoc
thread:364205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/364205.html