Posted by gardenergirl on June 18, 2004, at 1:24:34
In reply to Update from gardenergirl, posted by Racer on June 16, 2004, at 0:55:09
First, thanks to all of you who responded. I read every post several times, but I couldn't respond much. I am home tonight with my hubby and dog. Tomorrow I will go into ex-work for a couple of hours (I have some paper work to finish) and then I see my T in the late morning.
Mom gets discharged late afternoon Friday. She's doing so much better it is amazing. I really feared on Tuesday that she would have to go to rehab or a nursing home for a bit. I also thought she would need a "sitter" while in the hospital if her agitation continued. But they got her back on her meds and she is her old self. She's making good progress, too, although Wednesday they had to give her two units of blood since her hemoglobin dropped. But she bounced back pretty well.
My sister was discharged on Tuesday afternoon. Her doc. called her today to report that she definately does NOT have hepatitis, but just mono. A very bad case of it, but just mono. She called today and is feeling somewhat better. She feels guilty that she is not coming up to help take care of mom. She also feels so isolated, I think. I talked to her on the phone the other night and she was thanking me for helping mom. I think she was starting to cry about the time she hung up. She ended up needing steroids while she was in the hospital due to allergic reaction to antibiotic. This made her blood sugar go up to over 250. The poor girl has never been in the hospital and really has never been sick much. But she hates needles. She said she was hiding her hands from the nurse who wanted to check her blood glucose. :) Silly sister. Your hands are at the ends of your arms, no matter where you hide them. She ended up needing a dose of insulin, because her blood sugar did not come down fast enough after they stopped the steroids. She said she kept pushing the nurse's hand away who was there to give her the injection. I guess she was not that ideal of a patient.
We're not sure if my brother really went to the ER or not. He tends to tell a lot of tall tales. Some have called him delusional. I think that he so desparately needs to know that people care about him, that he has all these terrible things "happen" to him. If everything that he says has happened to him over the years really does, you would think he was the unluckiest, saddest sack you have ever encountered.
I talked with my Mom and sis about this the other day. I actually said to my mom that growing up, we got the most attention and care when we were sick or injured. She agreed. I told her that we could maybe help my brother, (who is terrible dependent on my mom despite the fact that he is 40 years old and the oldest of the three of us) by NOT reinforcing him when terrible things "happen" to him. I explained how things might get worse before they get betterif we stop. I also said (and this was the bigger message I'm not sure she got) that he needed to know he was cared for and loved for himself, not for the "bad" things that happen to him. That he was "testing" her love with this, and she needed to find a way to show it without the behavioral stuff he does. I don't know if she got the bigger message that her kids need her to show that she loves us as we are. But anyway, things with her weren't as bad as I dreaded they woujld be.
It is exhausting, though having loved ones in the hospital. I didn't spend every minute at the hosp. with her. I slept late a lot and came in in the afternoon most days once she was herself again. And she told me to go home one evening because I looked so tired. I have to admit, I was surprised she noticed. But maybe being in the hospital is giving HER enough care and attention that she can afford to pay some to her daughter for a moment. Who knows?
I still felt really alone in this, even though my aunts and uncles were calling and I had y'all here to support me. I think that feeling alone and unsupported is a major thing for me, at least recently.
I know my T appeared worried about me when I left his office last time. And the last two or three times I left his office I started to cry more than I was during the session. And I think I mentioned that I cried when mom's friend left Tuesday afternoon. I'm not sure what this is about. I do intend to talk to my T about it tomorrow.
Again, thank you all for your words of support, humor, and caring. It helps to hear from y'all that I am strong, even if it doesn't feel like it all the time. (positive reinforcement, you knkow.)
Oh, and it turns out that the occupational therapy assistant who is seeing my mom is a former classmate of mine. It was so good to see her and to catch up. And I feel good that she is treating my mom, because I know her training, and I always really liked and respected her. And her supervisor, the occupational therapist, is a former teacher of mine. It was very cool to see them both.
So, what's next? I am home tongight and will take care of some business here tomorrow a.m. Then I go back to Mom's for about a week until my aunts come a week from Sunday. This is the week that my sister was supposed to be helping out. My bro says he will do what he can, but my mom doesn't want him helping her bathe, dress, and/or go to the bathroom. I can't say that I blame her. Besides, he is somewhat of a spazz, physically, and I don't want either of them to get hurt.
Okay, time to go to bed. Thanks again for being there. I can't tell you how much it helps. I should be in a better place internet-wise as my hubby tweaked mom's computer so I don't have to rely on AOL. So I'll try to stay in touch.
Take care and thank you, thank you, thank you. (And keep it coming????)
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:356603
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/357708.html