Posted by deirdrehbrt on May 22, 2004, at 22:32:17
It's amazing, things seem like they are going fairly well right now. I got that volunteer position I'm looking for, I'm really working hard on getting back into school, and things are getting better with my kids. I had been in a good mood, and out of depression for about two weeks. Since about wednesday, I had lots of energy, and did major cleaning in my place. Last night, I had a real hard time getting to sleep, and finally did around 3:30.
Today, the energy is gone. I feel myself going to the depressed end of the pool. I have then, a challenge. I'm going to see if I can weather this one without being self destructive. I'm going to try to keep the focus on getting to school in 2005.
This emphasizes to me the cruelty in being bipolar.... the fear of feeling good. You know that everytime you feel good, you will be feeling bad sometime soon. It's bad enough to have the other mental ills, but bipolar really stinks.
So.... Dee's goals:
No SI
No suicide planning. (Stop it before it starts)
Stay out of the hospital
Work on the music therapy program
Keep contacting and getting info from colleges
Practice Piano
Practice guitar
Practice recorder
Reading list
Appointments.. T, Case manager, P-doc, etc
That's what I'm doing this week, and next. It might sound like alot, but then again, I can't work. Besides, there are more than one of us in here to do these things. The toughest part is keeping track. Sitting here, it does seem a bit daunting though. I'll let you know how it goes.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:349781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/349781.html