Posted by Scott in Vermont on May 21, 2004, at 15:12:12
In reply to Re: Back, posted by karen_kay on May 21, 2004, at 9:45:20
Actually, I get to watch the sun rise on that porch. I have the back yard for the sunset (although after reading the post Jai left, I don't know if I want to walk barefoot out there anymore... hahha)
The kids are doing ok, and they are weathering this storm as well as can be expected from an 8 and 6 year old who now have a split family. The best thing is that they know my house is safe, and they express feelings. My son likes to play out his frustrations with action figures. The "bad guy" is always some physical incarnation of seperation and divorce. Oddly, the good guy is almost always me. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm never going back to his mother. The freedom I feel since getting out from under her oppressive spite is indescribable... I could have spent the rest of my life being 1/2 alive (or eventually I would have just..."quit"). My daughter is a bit more conventional in her approach, she talks about feelings and says that while she is sad that Mommy and Daddy are not in the same house anymore, she likes seeing a happy Daddy and she knows I'm doing a lot better.
My wife (or whatever she is now) isn't doing as well... and I have no pity whatsoever. I know that sounds bitter and harsh, but there is a reckoning in all things, and I think she is reaping a little bit of the misery she sowed for so very long. My well of empathy runneth low... ha.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am being careful with my happiness, and not taking it for granted. My #1 fear is knowing how good I am doing right now, and knowing how very, very far the fall would be if I started heading for the bottom again. I'm sticking to my meds (last time I was "cured" I quit my meds... bad idea) and I'm making sure to find something good to focus on every day. Today my focus is that I get to pick the children up at 5:30 and have them all weekend. Tomorrow is unknown, but I know it's going to be a good day. Every day is a good day. :)
Have a good weekend.
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:348571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/349300.html