Posted by 64bowtie on May 19, 2004, at 13:34:56
On the admin board some more and seemingly un-necessary fire-storms erupted over simple comments, never meant for the obvious troubles they caused. If any feel forgiveness is in order, this troubles me. I for the longest time have bypassed the feel-good of forgiveness, looking instead for the acceptance of my apology (heart-felt) accompanied by my promise to amend my behavior.
What practical purpose does forgiveness serve other than a feel-good for all? Next week, the same behavior emerges. Children seem to have short memories based in feelings, but my memories are based in sight as an adult. The picture of my transgression lingers until I do something to ensure that it won't happen again.
No one, and I do mean no other one, is a target of this posting. I am sticking to the narrow theme of adults see their errors and can promise to amend their behavior. Children may get a feel-good outta forgiveness, but a week later, change their performance ever so slightly, thereby not being held accountable, since the new caper doesn't feel the same as the one they were forgiven for the week before.
In addition, I have replaced general avoidance of the unknown with general discovery. I have replaced fear of the known and unknown, with respect for the dangers I used to fear. I have replaced my expectations of others and the world, along with my obligatory thinking, with responsibility, planning, goals, and optional thinking. And above all, I have replaced my sense and seeking of approval as a child, with true adult love and loving; caring without obligation or expectation.
By these changes, I have found freedom. I honor that freedom, and the happiness on a daily basis that comes with the freedom. I can respect you because I know how. I learned by first respecting myself and honoring my accomplishments, along with my adult abilities, skills, and attributes.
If I did it, anyone can. If no one ever has, why try?
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:348606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/348606.html