Posted by Dr. Bob on May 15, 2004, at 2:52:57
In reply to Re: The stigma of mental illness... « gardenergirl, posted by Dr. Bob on May 14, 2004, at 8:10:57
Re: The stigma and loneliness of mental illness....
Posted by KindGirl on May 14, 2004, at 9:51:25
In reply to Re: The stigma and loneliness of mental illness.... » KindGirl, posted by ghost on May 13, 2004, at 23:29:09
Ghost,
I am so glad you wrote and I am so glad you are acknowledging at least that there is a concern inside of you (going to the hospital, seeking help). It takes immense courage to do this. I know, because I am scared out of my pants each and every week I go to t. and my t. says I am courageous and I know it is true because I am so scared. How can there be courage without fear, right?I hear so much shame in your post. I hear it because I do it to myself. Isn't it funny how we can be so compassionate and understanding with everyone but ourselves? When I read about your struggles w/grad school I think, "so what?"...So what in that it has nothing to do with my opinion of your intrinsic value as a person...I never finished grad school, and yes I was a straight A student and feel like a failure in every other area of my life, too. :(
I am glad you are giving a name and a voice to the pain and confusion inside of you and I hope it helps, even just a little, to have a name for "what you have"....it is a medically diagnosed condition, just like diabetes or cancer....what you have is a physical illness, too. I have to tell myself that because I am so ashamed I am a freak or nuts or a misfit and I never fit in anywhere and nobody would have a clue because I am a professional at hiding all of it.
I often tell my t. I should have been an actress the way I can pretend so well.
Anyway, didn't want to ramble but say to you I am glad you are hear, I am sorry you were in the hospital, and I am praying your shame will lift just a little and you will see yourself for who you truly are and that is a much loved child of God. (at least that is how I see you right now).
If I could just be so nice to myself!!!!!--
Re: The stigma and loneliness of mental illness.... » KindGirl
Posted by ghost on May 14, 2004, at 10:37:57
In reply to Re: The stigma and loneliness of mental illness...., posted by KindGirl on May 14, 2004, at 9:51:25
> I know, because I am scared out of my pants each and every week I go to t. and my t. says I am courageous and I know it is true because I am so scared. How can there be courage without fear, right?
This is absolutely right. I used to think of going to T's and pdocs as a "sign of weakness." ...because people couldn't deal with their own problems. I've learned now that I was so very wrong-- it's the strongest people who seek out help, and continue on with their T's, even when sessions get hard, and when it gets uncomfortable. WE ARE THE STRONG ONES.
> I hear so much shame in your post. I hear it because I do it to myself. Isn't it funny how we can be so compassionate and understanding with everyone but ourselves? When I read about your struggles w/grad school I think, "so what?"...So what in that it has nothing to do with my opinion of your intrinsic value as a person...I never finished grad school, and yes I was a straight A student and feel like a failure in every other area of my life, too. :(
you have no idea how relieved i was to hear how well you can relate. because I *do* feel like a failure. but I don't think of *you* as a failure-- why is the world so different for me than it is for everyone else?
>I have to tell myself that because I am so ashamed I am a freak or nuts or a misfit and I never fit in anywhere and nobody would have a clue because I am a professional at hiding all of it.
but you fit in *here*. for me, that means a lot.
someone i know recently told me how much more painful it is for those suffering with mental illnesses.... with diabetes, or muscular dystrophy, broken bones, or even just the common cold, there is a physical manifestation that people can see... people can see you suffering, or at least see that things aren't 100% with you. with mental illness you could be standing next to someone for minutes, days, years-- not having a clue the kind of prison or hell that is their own mind. it was then that i realised i was tormenting only myself by never seeking help.
and in the hospital i learned that if i DID have diabetes, that my illness would be automatically validated. it takes a smart, educated person to understand that mental illness is every bit as valid as physical illness. this was a hard one to grasp. but a relief.
> I often tell my t. I should have been an actress the way I can pretend so well.
omg. you have no idea....
> Anyway, didn't want to ramble but say to you I am glad you are hear, I am sorry you were in the hospital, and I am praying your shame will lift just a little and you will see yourself for who you truly are and that is a much loved child of God. (at least that is how I see you right now).
> If I could just be so nice to myself!!!!!thank you so much. (((((hugs))))))
and i agree-- i wish i could write the same words to you, and offer you the same understanding you offered me. because it sure does mean a lot. and you deserve no shame in your life. none whatsoever.
(dr bob, maybe this belonged in social too. sorry.)
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:346727
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/347042.html