Posted by smokeymadison on May 8, 2004, at 21:14:07
In reply to Mother's day, posted by deirdrehbrt on May 8, 2004, at 20:30:02
ooohhh yeah. i have been very hurt by my parent's ignorance and lack of common sense. of course, my mom was very young when she had me and definately was not ready to have me. i have been put in harm's way by both my parents growing up. now i just think about the fact that i am my mother's age right now when i was little. i know i would definately not be able to handle a kid. i shut my mom completely out of my life for about six years. it has only been the last two years that i have started to have a relationship with her again.
she was a terrible mother--lying, cheating, selfish. she still doesn't listen when i call her to talk--she just tells me all of her problems. how to find middle ground? very hard. my old therapist told me to limit my time w/ her. that is what i do, i guess. spend some quality time with her and then come up for air.
but i do love her. and there are things about her that i am grateful for. i did tell her about things that happened to me when i was little about a year ago and she took it pretty well, considering it was her lack of responsibility that brought it about. i am the kind of person who has to have things out in the open--i hate secrets that hurt. the worst she could have done was reject me, and then it still would have been out in the open, and i would still feel better b/c of it. i guess it comes down to what you can live with. if you feel you need to say something in order to heal, then do it. you are not responsible for their reactions, they are.
i hope you have a good mother's day. good luck.
poster:smokeymadison
thread:344904
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/344914.html