Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2004, at 2:59:58
In reply to I really need to change (Major whining, long), posted by deirdrehbrt on April 23, 2004, at 21:24:02
The volunteering sounds like a great idea, Dee. Being obligated to others is a good, though not always so fun, way to create ties that bind us to this earth.
I like how my therapist talked about change today. He wouldn't even discuss a plan of action for change for *anything* until we discussed change itself. Whatever self destructive ways of being we have are there for a reason. They protect us in some way from something. They make us feel safe. Perhaps accepting that could help you be less angry with yourself. And approach change in a measured sort of way, rather than all or nothing.
While talking to him today, I made the conscious decision not to try to change one thing and to try to change one thing. And he validated both decisions as being right for me right now. Perhaps you could really think about what things you are ready to change right now. And accept that it might not yet feel safe to change other things.
And of course, you can never change what other people do or how they feel about you, only yourself. Drat it.
Remember when changing to check with your therapist to make sure that you have other coping mechanisms in place.
(((Dee)))
I am sorry you are feeling this way. I hope I'm not being too concrete here. Sometimes I'm not good at just listening without trying to *do* something. I need to work on that.
poster:Dinah
thread:339369
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040422/msgs/339435.html