Posted by SandyWeb on March 30, 2004, at 9:00:30
In reply to Re: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on March 30, 2004, at 1:42:37
Good morning jlynne,
After I got the kids off to school this morning, I layed back down for another hour. I am exhausted. I am sooo tired, and I can't seem to get my brain to wake up. Ugh.
Thanks for the ((soft strokes)). Touch does wonders, doesn't it? I'm thankful that my kids still like to be hugged, and they'll still even cuddle with me. Can you imagine that at 12-years and 15-years?? Wow! I've got some special kids here! They're not perfect by any means and can drive me absolutely batty, but I think we've got a pretty darn good relationship. Maybe it comes from being the only parent in the household. I don't know, but I'm not questioning it.
I have no idea what I'm going to do today. During my 2 1/2 hour walk yesterday, I was going around and around in my head trying to figure out what I could do now that I can't afford to return to University. But after all the walking...and sun stroke (ha!)....I still didn't come up with a solution. Life requires money. The only "completed" education I have is my high school....and that was a lifetime ago. Work experience was also another lifetime ago. Darn! I should have had hubby work while he sent ME to school, rather than me working to support HIM through school. Isn't that always the way, though? Men are such dinkle-dorfs! LOL!
I'm still scared to go to the hospital. There were times while I was in bed last night that I thought I could really push myself to walk over there today. But after that degrading experience with MR. Bad Cop yesterday, it's going to take a bit of time to feel any sort of trust towards an authority figure again. I can't believe he would treat ANYONE like that, suicidal or not. He has become a very hardened person, and maybe he shouldn't be a police officer anymore. Then again, maybe he's always been this way and he gets his thrills over having power over others. Ramble ramble.
I need to go wash up. Big day of sitting in my chair ahead of me. I haven't told my kids yet that I've left school. I haven't told anyone except you guys and the nice cops from the SECOND visit. I don't know how to tell them. We've all been making sacrafices in order for me to complete my nursing....the kids knew we would be financially okay once that was done. Now....just another family on welfare.
It's awful to get out of bed feeling bummed. *smile*
God bless,
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/330261.html