Posted by rainyday on March 29, 2004, at 19:03:12
Sorry, my question mark looks like this
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but I find that this forum is the ONLY place I socialize in. Where else can you find people with similar problems, can empathize with side effects, etc.
I tried to go to an AA meeting today after work. I only drink when I am alone and my spouse is out of town. It is sporadic and I do not look forward to these periods. When he is home I feel neither the need nor the desire to drink. I can handle life, such as it is.I walked in - it reeked of cigarette smoke.
I asked for a local meeting list, and before I was out the door,
I was crying.These are not my people.
I looked for a non-smoking meeting in my COUNTY and there are none.I do not believe that I have to take up smoking to join the club.
I drink to deaden the pain of being alone, and of hurting. The people I saw this afternoon were pretty much dragged in off the street. The only thing missing from the scenery was the bar! I would never have caught myself dead in one of these places, even in my most, finest, alcoholic hours. I am no better than they, but
I do not smoke
I do not flirtThat is what they seem to do at these meetings, no matter WHAT the purpose is.
TThis experiece was the same I saw when I lived hundreds of miles north, when I felt I did not fit in. I am not a fisherman. I am not a heroin addict, I do not belong there either. I have not contemplated suicide because it looks like it takes too much thinking and planning.
Only in THIS PLACE do I find ANYONE to talk to who can relate. Am I anti-social or what....
I feel like I belong anywhere but here.
poster:rainyday
thread:330020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/330020.html