Posted by SandyWeb on March 24, 2004, at 20:47:02
In reply to Re: Hello,SandyWeb » SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on March 24, 2004, at 15:26:55
Hi jlynne,
Gosh, today has been utterly useless. I mainly sat in a chair with a blanket around me. I couldn't really even think beyond that. I didn't like it.
I seem to be "waking up" now. Just my luck, because it's bedtime! Lol!! Along with feeling more alert, I also have a feeling in my tummy like I want to have a panic attack. I haven't had one in ages, and I really don't want this to happen. I'm fighting it, but it's scary.
Yes, I was able to keep my meds straight. I made sure I took them because otherwise I knew I would be in trouble. Like I said, the Celexa seems to be keeping my head above water.....and I don't want to lose that. But I also feel like it's not cutting it as much anymore. I'm already at 80mg, so I don't think I can go any higher. I'll just have to weather this as best I can.
I wouldn't say that I'm on heavy-duty meds. The Celexa is common enough. I use the Neurontin for social anxiety, and the Inderal LA is because both the Neurontin and Celexa cause my blood pressure to skyrocket. Plus, it has the added benefit of keeping my heart from going crazy on me and freaking me out! *smile*
The paperwork is taken care of. I also got Carly into the doctor's yesterday, and she was given sleeping pills to help her with her "phobia". I've also started the referral process for her to see a therapist. She didn't take a pill last night....she slept with me again....but tonight she took it and is in her own bed right now. I hope she is actually asleep. Poor thing.
I'll still have to look into the bankruptcy thing. I could never repay the student loans in a million years.....not when my life will consist of sitting on my butt reading books. Not a thought I want to give much time to.
As for the two police visits, I'm not sure why they each had different emails. The first guys had the one from the 18th where I was talking about walking into the forest and going to sleep under a tree. The second guys showed me the message from Dr. Bob along with my email stating going to the University and the things I needed to do. Unless Dr. Bob sent a bunch of my messages, and they just picked the ones they liked! I don't really know. I don't really care. It doesn't really matter.
So....you mentioned that the veil would lift and I'd see more clearly. Well, it appears to be lifting....and I'm only seeing what I saw before. I guess that's as clear as it will ever get. I mean, where the heck do I go from here? I don't want anymore police visits (I'd be completely grey after the next visit! Lol), but I don't see a future for me. I just don't have anywhere to go.
But I'll keep looking.
God bless you jlynne,
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/327949.html