Posted by sexylexy on March 20, 2004, at 16:34:15
In reply to Thank you all, posted by jlynne on March 20, 2004, at 0:04:17
Jlynne,
I think you bring up such an interesting topic. Altough there is not abuse in my history and honestly up to this point have had a fairy tale life, I have always been "the strong one", "a fighter" and "the one who's got it all together". In a way I am a touch of a control freak. I believe that is probably why even though I should have started meds back in october, I decided to wait till dec, allowing myself to worsen. I was scared the meds would take over too much the little that I still have control over. I believe too, that I am subconticously fighting the medication as well. I see how much it has helped me, I mean I am different person that I was in Dec. friends and family are realiing that I am coming back, which is nice. I feel like I have a ways to go to regain confidence, indepencance ect but I resent being on medication.
I have come to terms now that God is allowing me this experience because it truly has made me a better person. I am more understanding of my clients (I am a therapist), more kind to people and less vain and prideful. All of these are good things that have come from this experience.
Now I want the day to come when I recognize myself and feel comfortable to face the world again. I still have a lot of fear that this is not over or that it is coming back. I just have to believe that along with my strong will, faith and medication I will get back to that place.
God Bless and good luck,
Lexy
poster:sexylexy
thread:323847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040316/msgs/326476.html