Posted by Angielala on March 5, 2004, at 12:33:58
In reply to I've decided I'm just plain wierd, posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 5, 2004, at 1:31:52
Just plain weird- Jeff that's wonderful :) As I have said to all the bullies since I was 5 (and it always stumped them, idiots) Weird is better than normal. And it's true.
I don't think there is an easy way to transform as you are now... it's like you either go through it slow, or you get thrown in the fire and have to go through it fast, and both suck... but it doesn't last, that's the one thing that's guaranteed. Jeffy, babe- you realize how smart you are, but what you forget to look at is that the world isn't used to highly intelligent people... people who connect through words and emotions the way you do... it's not you, it's them- it's their problem that they don't know what to do. Force it on them, don't be afraid- let them be afraid... that gives you the control. Watch Fight Club a few times, drink lots and lots of water and call me in the morning :) hehe
> I can hardly function. My future is a Goth cliche'. My pathology is very complicated. I react adversely and paradoxically to so many meds that avenue is nearly closed. Hell, I just don't know what to do. One minute Im fine, the next I'm a wreck. I feel like all of humanity either hates me or is afraid of me.
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> And this hardly bothers me. I feel like Hannibal Lecter without the whole killing thing. I guess it does bother me on some level; I'm writing about it and trying to change although the harder I try the more impossible it gets.
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> I'm still dealimg with changing my expectations. Not easy but making headway. I just worry about the future. I guess it's like my grandma said once, "I will need to find a lady with money and a trade." Sucks but oh well. Of course, finding anyone at all is just about impossible with my problems.
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> I know this all sounds like despair but actuall I don't think I care enough to realy despair. Anyway, I hope you guys are doing OK.
poster:Angielala
thread:320490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040305/msgs/320665.html