Posted by deirdrehbrt on January 30, 2004, at 21:13:15
In reply to Now I'm irritated!, posted by Karen_kay on January 30, 2004, at 20:54:02
I think that sometimes when men get comfortable with someone that they tend to vent on them. You can catch their pent-up wrath for the tiniest infraction of their rules, wants, wishes, etc.
I don't think that it means that He doesn't love you, it's just that he's very comfortable, and doesn't get effective feedback for bad behavior.
Maybe you could point it out to him at a non-threatening time, maybe somehow you could let him know what you go throug when he's behaving like that.
I was married, before I got into therapy, to someone like that. It's hard when you don't want to talk about something important just because you are afraid of upsetting them. It's hard to get yelled at because "You know I don't like that" and you don't remember cooking it ever before.
I can't speak from experience on how to change that behavior, but learning about myself, I at least know my boundaries; I know that I don't deserve the bad behavior, and if someone wants to be with me, they have to leave that behind. 14 years was plenty for me, and I don't want it again.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:307518
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/307526.html