Posted by leo33 on January 30, 2004, at 17:35:19
I started out life full of enthusiasm and dreams. Graduated college, had a beautiful girl, a job, money in the bank, travelled all thru USA and Europe, athletically talented and a lot of friends and family. Since suffering my first depression in 1992, my life has become a dismal mess with no options or hope. I now have been alone with no relationships or sex in 6 years. Have been unemployed for 3 years, have no money left and completely broke, live at home with my parents at the age of 36 (i hate it), went bankrupt 2 years ago, lost touch with friends and embarrased at my situation too even want to get back in touch with them, lost all credibility and respect from my family, started a battle with street drugs since psych drugs did not work, and turned into a complete loser of life. My one hope as pathetic as it is, is the hope that the disability I applied for gets accepted so I can have some money to participate in our consumer society. Can someone tell me why I should not just put a gun to my head and save myself and society from the burden of my life, its freakin miserable. I have every stigma known too man on my shoulders and in our society once you f--- up it stays with you forever unless you have money than it doesn't really matter. I can't get a job since Bush has been in office, can't get an apartment or house since credit is bad now and of course no money, can't attract a woman because i have no money (I am decent looking and in very good physical shape and would have a lot of love to give a woman) but I feel that if you dont have money no woman would have interest. I'm just tired of losing this game of life. I wish I could immigrate to another country for a fresh start and opportunity like every other nationality that comes to America. But I cant do that cause no other country is as stupid as America in its immigration policies and we are not really liked in many places of the world understandibly. Where does a disenfrachised american go, seems like we are just screwed. I have tried to go to the state for help but keep getting the door slammed in my face because I am not a minority or a woman with a child. I know several people in much better situations than me who are able to get assistance but I get none since I am a white male.
I guess my only options are too become a criminal, maybe I'll sell drugs to survive, live on the street and beg, maybe become a prostitute, or should I join a radical militant group so I can go to war against those who feel I'm not worth the trouble in helping. Our country stinks now and we need to effect change from the poverty stricken up to take back this country from the greedy and corrupt politicians and corporations who have ruined it. This is not the land of opportunity as proclaimed to be! I'm guessing you are sensing a lot of anger here and I feel I have the right to express it. So any suggestions on how to get by without money or am I just screwed?
poster:leo33
thread:307451
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/307451.html