Posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 29, 2004, at 23:15:51
This is a followup from my post on PB meds, http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040122/msgs/304860.html.
First thanks to everyone who sent good vibes my way.
Emotionally right now I'm as flat as a pancake. I don't know anymore if things are improving, shifting laterally, or getting worse. On top of that, I feel pretty apathetic about the whole thing.
The thing is, I've been through more drug trials in the las six months than most people go through in six years. I'm coming out the other end healthwise and emotionally worse than I've ever been. Getting into specifics would take too long to write. I'm on the bleeding edge of losing my crappy job and I have no safety net. My daughter is beginning to notice things aren't quite right with me. Something as simple as bathing is overwhelming to me. I'm constantly too tired to do anything productive.
I'm talking to my pdoc tomorow over the phone. I'm tempted to just go down and barge into his office but I know that's a bad idea. I have an extraordinary hard time asserting myself when it comes to my needs. Right now I'm very angry at him for not getting back to me sooner. I try to remind myself that the guy is a family friend with 30+ years of clinical experience. He's also the director of inpatient services and ECT at the University hospital. He might not be so great on the whole communication thing but given the way I react to meds I wouldn't trust anyone else.
I think I need some intervention now, but I keep going back and forth.
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:307117
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/307117.html