Posted by vilkas on January 25, 2004, at 0:37:32
Hi to everyone.
I apologise for this thread if it seems a bit strange, but I have been wondering if my experiences are the same as others here with depression. What I have started to notice is that since becoming extremely depressed, I have started to do things and take more risks than I ever have before. I'm certain it comes from the ambivalence that depression brings. These days I have no fear of anything, I just don't care. I used to be anxious in social situations, but now it doesn't bother me. eg I met a girl about a month ago in a social situation, and we really clicked. A few years ago I would have just let her go and done nothing about it, for fear of rejection, humiliation, embarrassment, but because I no longer care, I just dived right in and made sure we kept in touch. On the other hand, there are plenty of situations where ambivalence can be a very bad thing. But I am intrigued as to whether anyone has experienced this. To me it seems like I am becoming the person I should have always been, and it's partly thanks to depression. But at the same time, there are risks that come along for the ride, and also, even though some good things are happening (eg the girl), I still can't feel the emotional highs that I used to.
I don't know if there's much of a point to my rambling...but I had to get it out.take it easy,
vilkas.
poster:vilkas
thread:305228
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/305228.html