Posted by Angielala on December 22, 2003, at 15:11:07
Hi all...
I really have no one to turn to that understands. You know how it is- your loved ones can only understand so much.
I am Bipolar and have ADHD. I have been on Paxil CR and Depakote ER for the past year and a half. I want on it after a long cycle of mania. While, like most others, I completely enjoyed feeling so good during my mania, I ended up falling into a depressive state.
I can tell a difference with the meds, although I'm really really starting to think that their side effects are causing me more grief than the ups and downs I had before.
My thoughts now are to start cutting my depakote in half and ask to be put on Welbutrin. I have heard that Welbutrin has a lot less side effects and it gives you some energy and help s you concentrate. I have heard great things about Adult Bipolar and ADHD people that have been treated with Welbutrin, and the majority have said that it's a godsend after going through the cycles of trying different stuff to find that proverbial "balance" we are supposed to achieve.
Truth is, before I was put on the Depakote and was just on Paxil, the only side effect I felt was a lack of a sex drive. The Depakote has made me gain about 30 very un-needed pounds, I get slight tremors now, I can never get enough sleep- I feel like a complete zombie. The thing that has suffered the worst is my career. I have gone from being the #1 employee for 3 1/2 years to being a person that can barely get out of bed and to work on time. I don't have my drive to do well anymore.
I'm starting to wonder if I can try alternate methods to battle any kinds of mania I may encounter if i get off the Depakote. Any ideas that have worked for any of you? I'm also wondering what kind of side effects I should watch for from the withdrawl.
I am in constant contact with my Psych and will be seeing him next week to take to him about all of this. Yet I'm weary of docs... not thta I don't trust them, I just think that they believe that a lot of patients want to stop their meds only because they are feeling better and think they are fine all of a sudden. I don't believe I belong in that Catch-22. I believe I would be better off out of this fog I have been living in.
Is it better to live and feel emotions, or is it better to be numb to the world?
Sorry for the long post. I really need some support and advice. All my friends and loved ones think I'm better off without- yet they don't understand what that means really... I know I need an anti-depressant, I just am starting to think that the mood stabilizer (Depakote) has sucked all the good out of me. I used to be extremely energized, well spoken, and upbeat. I could put my mind to anything. Now I can barely get out of bed in the morning.
Thank you so much for listening- I really appreciate this board!
poster:Angielala
thread:292424
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031217/msgs/292424.html