Posted by Psychopoppy on December 17, 2003, at 0:51:23
In reply to Re: Lethargy A she? » noa, posted by tabitha on December 16, 2003, at 22:40:25
The WOW is for the realization that there actually ARE other people whose lives are so similar to mine (sniff, sniff )
The I HAD NO IDEA refers to -- All this time I was really beginning to think that I must be the only one who's depression has made me unable to even have a job and look like all those other "normal" folk I see from my 8th floor window, rushing down the street in their nice leather coats and cool sling bags, off to be in their nice comfy chair by 9.00 Am, making phone calls, getting coffee from the machine in the office hallway.
Actually...I dont really think I'll ever be one of them even when I'm better (a gift of depression... to realize that)The THANKS is for sharing your lives and being strong enough to be so forthcoming and honest about who you really are and how your day unfolds. There aren't many like you, who would have the courage to say.."this is who I really am...no prentenses, no cover-ups, no BS"
I sleep around 12-14 hrs a day (gotten worse with effexor) although the mood is more stable so its a double-edge sword that effexor. On a day when I do the groceries and manage to cook a nice meal for myself and my hubby.... I consider that a huge day ! Thank goodness my hubby understands and supports me or else i'd be out on the streets maybe ! who knows...its a scary thought ...what would happen if he wasnt supporting me right now... that thought alone is enough to make be bawl and curl up and disappear into the blankie for a few hours :(
oh, its a new battle each day and I am thankful to be alive, to be intelligent, to be courageous and to be honest with myself to allow this to take its course and not try to push things and crash...just heal slowly and hope, hope, hope !
I think that the first and foremost battle is to get over the guilt and self-resentment. And then to just do one or more things each day that give us pleasure...whatever it maybe...like walk in the woods or go to bookstore and read or go up the mountain and look at the view or go to a cafe and have tea with a friend who understands and respects you...or eat ice-cream, or watch a great show or movie on TV and not feel any guilt about that, or paint a little or sew something cute on a piece of cloth......just look at, hear, smell, feel, touch, or taste something beautiful...without any guilt or sadness.
These are my present short-term goals. The rest...well, I dont need to know.....I can wait until I am ready to know.
You guys are superb and wholesome. For goodness sakes, always stay that way
:-)
poster:Psychopoppy
thread:290372
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/290816.html