Posted by lepus on December 13, 2003, at 18:42:05
In reply to Re: out of hope, posted by Psychopoppy on December 13, 2003, at 2:50:16
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> Dear lepus
> I do not see your moving back home to the comfort and care of your family as a "setback" or a "failure". I think that it is a very north american concept that for one to be deemed "succesful" one has to shed all dependancy and live independently and individually. I think its great that you are going home again (ie. if its a plesaant place for you to be) and that you will share some time with your parents (who arent getting any younger). And, you will be surrounded by the people who love you and care for you and it will give you little cocoon for you to heal again and face all those forces that you feel have made you so weak.
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I have to agree with your statements about the American culture and its over-emphasis on individuality and self-reliance. Sometimes I wonder if the reason so many people are on anti-depressants and generally unhappy with thier lives is due to the extreme focus on the individual and "standing on one's own" that American culture dictates is the only way to be to have any worth in this society. You have to be rich and successful and completely independent to be seen as anyone in this society it seems. When you fall short of that ideal it is easy to become depressed and to think less of yourself. The fact is that we do need each other and we do need our families (if they are healthy ones). We need that social support no matter if we are sick or well. But if we admit we need others then we are weak. If we move back home we are failures. In other cultures kids wouldn't have even moved out yet at my age! I have read studies where the mentally ill who live in societies that place less emphasis on the individual and have more social support do better than they do in America without medication. It is quite sad.I will try to look at this time as a bit of a blessing because I can be with my parents. But it is so hard to reconcile what society expects of me and what I am able to do at this time. It is also hard to give up the independence I thought I had gained. I liked the city I was living in and it is very hard to give it up.
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> I know its hard as hell to fight what you suffer but meds alone are not your solution. Perhaps a total soul make-over mixed with your meds might help. Just a suggestion.Part of what scares me so much is knowing that meds are not going to solve all my problems. I just haven't had much luck with therapy to solve them either. How do you do a "soul make-over"? I could use some tips. The access to alternative healing methods where I was living was one thing I really liked about the area. Now that I have to leave there I feel like I am leaving a little bit of hope for my recovery behind. I am exploring meditation however and maybe I can get in with another Sangha where my parents live.
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> I had tears in my eyes when i read your words (even though i dont know you at all), which means that you have the power to touch people and express yourself.
> My best wishes for some relief go out to you, along with a reminder that you are not alone...your soul is always there for you (and we are here for you too).Thank you. I am sorry I made you cry. I want to make someone happy for once. I guess I can write that down as a goal.
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poster:lepus
thread:289188
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/289465.html