Posted by kara lynne on December 4, 2003, at 0:16:17
Can anyone understand this---I'm afraid of the impulse to call my ex; I don't want to call him but I get almost a physiological panic, like I have to talk to him right that second or I'll die. It's completely irrational and I don't understand where it comes from or why. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I'm going to freak out if I can't make contact with someone--even if it's someone from my past I haven't talked to in years.
My counselor is going out of the country for a week tomorrow.Two of my two friends will be going away for the holidays. I believe some of this is triggered by the fear of abandonment, although of course I will not be loved if I call my ex so it doesn't make any sense on a conscious level.
I've tried to talk about this; I brought it up to the therapist I saw for awhile and he just looked at me like I was weird. I said I get these feelings of panic and I'm afraid of acting from them, and that I wanted some insight so I could be better prepared, or some method to help get me through those moments. I did bring it up to my counselor a couple of days ago, but she didn't really address the panic per-se; she just said if I called him I would be calling nothing, which is true.
It's not like a full fledged panic attack, it's this fleeting state of panic that is always lurking just below the surface, but threatening to overpower me at any given moment.
I could really use anyone's input if you have it.
Thanks.
poster:kara lynne
thread:286413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/286413.html