Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 7, 2003, at 16:12:26
In reply to Re: Redefine your understanding of self » Eddie Sylvano, posted by Dinah on November 7, 2003, at 10:07:25
> Could you give an example or two of the ways that change might be brought about?
------I think that the biggest consideration to be taken away from this book is that we think of our conscious mind (the ongoing commentary in your head, thoughts, etc) as the engine of our minds, and a lot of therapy is directed at this notion. As a poster commented a few posts back, coming to an understanding of our past and the issues that plague us isn't necessarily of any use. Why should this be? If the conscious mind is the arbiter of the self, then why can't we will ourselves better? We can will ourselves to do all sorts of immediate things, but we can't control that which is the essence of who we are. We can't because we're organized that way. At any given point in time, you can only hold, at best, a few thoughts in your head before any more will change your focus. Life, however, requires a lot of procedural knowledge to do even the most mundane things. Typing is a simple example. When you tried to use a keyboard the first time, you had to direct your attention to the location of the keys, the letters on them, the use of the shift key, your fingers' positions, etc, etc. It was a task you did slowly and poorly. After a year or so, however, you can do this same procedure with little need for thought, and with relative efficiency. This is an example of training your subconscious mind. Now, the leap to make is that not only do mundane tasks become automated in our subconscious, so do *all* of the situations we encounter on a daily basis. When you consider how many times you've dealt with people in your life, compared to typing, you gain an appreciation for how many situations you have automatic behaviors for. Just about everything. You don't have to try to remember how to handle situations, your brain just does, and if it does so poorly, you have problems. The brain is most adept at forming these types of memories early in life, and slows fairly quickly after adolescence. This means that most of your automatic responses to situations, interpersonal and mundane, come from your interactions in early childhood. Since you spend the vast majority of this time in interactions with your parents and siblings, these are the key players in your social response repetoire. Hence, poor parenting stamps an indelible mark on you.
Anyway, getting back to change. According to the authors, the only real way to any change is much like the typing example... rote practice. When you've identified an area of interaction that you feel is faulty, you must practice doing things "correctly" each time you encounter the situation. You must do this over and over (and over). The key is in the repitition. Ideally, you'll do this in an enviroment equal to that in which you have problems (i.e. if you always get in arguments with your mom when you're alone together, you must practice doing things differently when you alone with your mom), because all of your automatic responses are tied to the sum of the environment they were formed in. Though it is harder for adults to modify their brains than children, certain things can help facilitate such learning, which the authors loosely define as "arousal." The brain is more impressionable when it is in an active environment. Drugs can also facilitate this process (SSRIs typically. LSD is even more potent at this, but not recommended), as well as trauma (not recommended either). Thus, thinking about your problems while alone does little to help you. You need active engagement (arousal) and practice. Your brain needs lots of exposure to absorb the new behaviors. I wish there was an easier way, but it looks like that's it.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:277422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/277546.html