Posted by Dr. Bob on October 9, 2003, at 3:12:17
In reply to Betrayal by counselor (from still hurting), posted by David Smith on October 6, 2003, at 23:58:45
BTW, transference is not uncommon. (nm)
Posted by David Smith on October 6, 2003, at 23:26:41
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031004/msgs/266162.html
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Re: Is what my counselor did right???
Posted by Still Hurting on October 6, 2003, at 23:29:56
In reply to Re: Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Pete C. on October 6, 2003, at 22:24:03
Yes, that's what's bothering me. We sat there for months talking about honesty and integrity and here she lied to me about the simple topic of why she terminated me. I could have accepted her opinion and at least thrown it out. But to have lied about it gave me no power at all. Secondly, yes she is a counselor. And her notes were sent to my doctor. That's why I'm also upset. Because her assuming I'm gay is one thing, but to tell my doctor that, is another thing.
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Re: Is what my counselor did right???
Posted by David Smith on October 6, 2003, at 23:43:23
In reply to Re: Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Still Hurting on October 6, 2003, at 23:29:56
> Yes, that's what's bothering me. We sat there for months talking about honesty and integrity and here she lied to me about the simple topic of why she terminated me. I could have accepted her opinion and at least thrown it out. But to have lied about it gave me no power at all. Secondly, yes she is a counselor. And her notes were sent to my doctor. That's why I'm also upset. Because her assuming I'm gay is one thing, but to tell my doctor that, is another thing.
This is serious. That information could follow you for life and may even affect the treatment you receive. Talk to your doctor about having the note removed immediately. You should also check your other medical files (including insurance files) to ensure your privacy is maintained. I hope you call tomorrow.
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Let's go to Psych/social » Still Hurting
Posted by David Smith on October 7, 2003, at 0:07:41
In reply to Re: Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Still Hurting on October 6, 2003, at 23:29:56
> Yes, that's what's bothering me. We sat there for months talking about honesty and integrity and here she lied to me about the simple topic of why she terminated me. I could have accepted her opinion and at least thrown it out. But to have lied about it gave me no power at all. Secondly, yes she is a counselor. And her notes were sent to my doctor. That's why I'm also upset. Because her assuming I'm gay is one thing, but to tell my doctor that, is another thing.
There is no question that what she did was inappropriate AND insensitive. I don't detect any malice here though. I have to ask this:What if her deductions are correct? Is that what is really bothering you?
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Re: BTW, transference is not uncommon.
Posted by David Smith on October 7, 2003, at 0:31:14
In reply to BTW, transference is not uncommon. (nm), posted by David Smith on October 6, 2003, at 23:26:41
Here is a great thread on "Babble."
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/245650.html
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Re: Is what my counselor did right??? » Still Hurting
Posted by galkeepinon on October 7, 2003, at 2:07:37
In reply to Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Still Hurting on October 6, 2003, at 21:57:21
When you're counselor told you the reason of termination being 'seeing her as a mother figure'
If she was a *good* therapist, I would think that she would have worked with you on that issue, I've had several therapists who helped me deal with 'mother-figure issues'.
Your transference wasn't *right or wrong*, in my opinion, try not to take the blame.
Therapy is about issues like this, it took me a very long time to know that the only place I would find a mother was inside my heart. One really wise therapist pointed that out to me in March 2002.
Not easy a lot of the times, but I love my mother and I respect her. Life is short. (this is just my opinon and feedback)
Anyway, as far as legality is concerned, you can request your medical records from her, depending where you are, and view them. If you showed that 'I wanted a HOMOSEXUAL relationship with her' was not the case, and if you know in your heart, don't put up with that!!! No Way!! Your therapist can document your 'sexual preference' if she chooses to, if you told her, and she did.
**You can always call her up or go see her face to face and ask her why she documented that. It depends on how you will feel if you choose to do that.
Hang in there, I hope you get some answers, closure AND what you're needing:-)
Take care,
Kristen
> My counselor terminated me four months ago. We talked about the termination and she told me that seeing her as a mother figure was the reason behind it. My transference was wrong. But the other day as I was looking into my medical files I discovered that she didn't let me go because i saw her as a mother figure (therefore she lied to me) but because she wrote, "I wanted a HOMOSEXUAL relationship with her". Who gives her that right to assume this SHIT? And if it was right, which it isn't, who gives her a right to be revealing my SEXUALITY? Please somebody tell me, is this legal?----
Lying » Pete C.
Posted by galkeepinon on October 7, 2003, at 2:11:26
In reply to Re: Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Pete C. on October 6, 2003, at 22:24:03
>>>>I think it is the fact that she lied about why she terminated the sessions that is bothering you.
I would be very upset if that were the case, believe me I have been part of lies, and I really think she owes you an explanation, but ask for it, she can't read your mind, and maybe it's not even bothering her, but it's bothering YOU, and that's what's important. Do what you need to, if you can, to get it straight with her~that's all you can do...
Good luck!----
Re: Is what my counselor did right???
Posted by jay on October 7, 2003, at 7:49:00
In reply to Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Still Hurting on October 6, 2003, at 21:57:21
> My counselor terminated me four months ago. We talked about the termination and she told me that seeing her as a mother figure was the reason behind it. My transference was wrong. But the other day as I was looking into my medical files I discovered that she didn't let me go because i saw her as a mother figure (therefore she lied to >me) but because she wrote, "I wanted a >HOMOSEXUAL >relationship with her". Who gives >her that right >to assume this SHIT? And if it >was right, which >it isn't, who gives her a >right to be >revealing >my SEXUALITY? Please >somebody tell me, >is this legal?
Hi:Sorry you are so distressed over this. It may seem dramatic to you, but it is not the labels that count. Besides, not to belittle your values and beliefs, but in science (i.e. psychiatry, social work), homosexuality/bisexuality are not considered *bad*, *wrong*, or anything abnormal. I really don't want to argue this, but it is just a stance medical science and the APA take.
Another important factor, which others seem to agree on, is what I have come up against in counselling, and that is transference. It can make even the most comfortable of therapists uneasy. It actually feels like "teeth-pulling" to a therapist, especially how vulnerable to lawsuits, malpractice, etc, they are. Just a suggestion, but you may want to try to find a good counsellor who specializes in helping you build your own walls to keep separation and understanding of the different types of 'roles' and actions we should use when dealing with various people. (i.e. how you act around a partner compared to a stranger and/or a therapist.) There may be a whole bag of other issues I am not aware of, but you also have to understand that all of this may be part of your illness. If your symptoms aren't getting treated by medication, maybe it is time to seek further or different meds.
I hope the best for you...
Sincerely,
Jay----
Re: Is what my counselor did right??? » Pete C.
Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2003, at 17:40:52
In reply to Re: Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Pete C. on October 6, 2003, at 22:24:03
> From what you wrote is seems your counselor did the right thing by ending your sessions. Most professionals will if they sense any sort of emotional attachment from the patient. She could have mistaken your feelings of mother figure as you comming on to her.
Most professionals with even a rudimentary training in transference would never dream of terminating a client because they sense emotional attachment from them. A tradionally trained therapist will consider it part of the therapeutic process. A CBT therapist may not "do" transference, but should at least have a passing knowledge of how to deal with it with empathy and skill.
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Re: Is what my counselor did right???
Posted by loolot on October 7, 2003, at 18:54:29
In reply to Re: Is what my counselor did right???, posted by Pete C. on October 6, 2003, at 22:24:03
Transference is normal in patient/therapist relationship. A good therapist will work with the emotional attachment and go into it to reveal other things in the session. This is not a normal thing to dump a patient for. In fact, I think it is wrong and could be unethical. Maybe she had to say homosexual in the files because it is against the rules to leave a patient for something else
Maybe this therapist might be freaking out about her own transference?
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:266172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/267152.html