Posted by faroop on October 8, 2003, at 8:32:30
In reply to Living with BP « Skir, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2003, at 18:26:32
My girlfriend, who is living with bipolar disorder, as well as OCD and anxiety problems, suggested I might stop by and say some encouraging words.
I don't know that I have the greatest advice on how to be more supportive, because right now I don't think I'm doing the greatest job. BUT, you need to develop a strong listening ear. Listen, without getting upset, without judging, without trying to fix anything, without even expecting things to get better. Just listen.
Sometimes you will want to scream because how can someone you love be in this much pain with nothing you can do about it. So you should find someone who can support you. This part I have not done well, so I can only advise learning from my mistakes. If you find someone who will listen to you without judging your situation, you can scream all you want without making your wife feel bad for causing you pain. Because you will hurt sometimes, but it's not her fault. You need to find a way to deal with your own hurt and frustration without making your wife feel terrible.
I also went to my girlfriend's pdoc with her early on in our relationship. I asked him questions about the long-term course of the illness, what I should be watching for, etc. It was helpful. Books are really good, too, but it is possible to read yourself to death. There's no book that's going to solve the problem. There's no way that you or your wife can just "try harder" and take the illness away. You just have to keep finding a way to navigate the illness that works well for both of you.
Good luck!
poster:faroop
thread:266083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266682.html