Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2003, at 8:33:34
In reply to The Last of My Amends...., posted by galkeepinon on October 7, 2003, at 3:36:54
>
> The facts were that I was suicidal, the wrong was when I faked it. I'm sorry.
>
I'm sorry you were feeling so bad, and I do believe that you were.> >>>>You didn't add that you faked suicide attempts four times.
>
> I recall 2x
>
Gabbi may be counting a few times where you said things that led people to believe you were going to commit suicide then didn't post for a while. That was on Psycho-Babble medication board I believe.
> >>>>We proved that we cared four times (well admittedly some of us, only three) and yet you came came back and called us losers and suckers for falling for your ruse.
>
> I'm sorry for calling you names~it was childish, AND hurtful, I know.
>
I also recall the post on Jay's board, right before he took it private, where you were laughing at the deception. I must admit though, that you appeared to be laughing at Dr. Bob, at the idea that he would be worried about a lawsuit, not at fellow posters.> >>>>You threatened people on this board, and over email, and when you no longer could do it here you continued on Jay's board. This was no short burst of rage.
>
> >>>>You're right, it lingered on to jay's board for about 3 weeks, but what threats did I make, can you clarify that for me?I'm don't know the nature of the threats as they were off board. That's why I'm having trouble figuring out the ethical issue here. If the threats were sufficiently violent, and caused enough harm to other posters (by for example, scaring them about their safety), I almost feel like I would be harming them by forgiving all and welcoming you back with open arms. Well, not forgiving all, but welcoming back at least. I can't, of course, forgive offenses to others only to myself. If the threats were sufficiently severe, I rather think my ethical obligation is to follow the lead of those who were harmed. But I just don't know becaues I don't have the information. They were referred to on Admin by several posters, but they weren't posted. I wonder if Dr. Bob would consider allowing them to be posted so that people could better consider the facts. With asterisks as needed, of course.
> I know I was threatened by Nikki that my computer would be hacked into....
> *ayuda*>>>I am so sorry for leaving what I did on your Messenger, you really tried to help me and understand where I was coming from. I wish I could go back and change what I said to you, but I can't. I thought you were ignoring me when I typed, and I assumed that you were playing games with me, which wasn't the case? You said you were 'away' I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I'm very sorry.
>
> *zeliva*>>>even though you called me a 'B****', and yes, I called you some ugly names, I'm sorry for my part and the words I said that were mean to you. I didn't appreciate you conversing with my friend online behind my back. Maybe you were trying to help, but after I found out what you said, it made me want to fight back with you more, I eventually stopped~you know that. I'm sorry for my part concerning you.
>And also the Zenhussy post.
You might get a bit better reception to your amends if you own complete responsibility yourself, without listing the offenses of the person you're apologizing to (most especially if those offenses were responses to your own).
If you'd rather get the input of an unbiased source, perhaps you could bring your amends and ZenHussy and Jyl and Nikki posts to your therapist, and tell her what I suggested about amends and not blaming others. See what (s)he thinks.
My therapist has been able to point out that my posts are a bit sanctimonious at times. And I reluctantly have to agree that there is a bit of truth in that. Perhaps your therapist could give you a few hints on ways to word things so as to increase the likelihood that they would be well received.
Incidentally, many of the people you are making amends to left this board, right after the incidents you are referring to. I'm not sure they'll have a chance to read them.
Best of luck to you.
poster:Dinah
thread:266221
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266273.html