Posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2003, at 10:41:51
In reply to Re: Should I continue or not?, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2003, at 2:00:27
Re: Thank You » galkeepinon
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 6, 2003, at 8:14:23
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030808/msgs/265832.html
" can simply *choose* to walk away from relationships and situations that I don't want to be around without 'biting back'. I did that to Nikki and she didn't deserve it.
"Excuse me????? You bit BACK???!!!
Oh, right.
Maybe I really should post some of the stuff you sent me.
Nikki
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Hey Gal » galkeepinon
Posted by Susan J on October 6, 2003, at 9:40:00
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030808/msgs/265526.html
Gal,
> GALKEEPINON=KRISSY~remember her?????????????
> Yes I am her. ...... What do you think????
> Sincerely,
> KristenHi, I am fairly new and have only known you as Galkeepinon. I admire your courage to come clean with the deceptive second name. I'm not here to pass any judgment since I have no clue what went on, but just to offer an option/opinion.
I was recently very hurt by someone who turned his back on me when *I* felt like killing myself. Setting up his surround sound stereo was much more important than the value of my life apparently. After 4 or 5 months of not speaking, he came back and sincerely, truly apologized for what he had done (or didn't do). The apology meant a lot to me. But, be it my weakness or whatever, I couldn't *forget* what he had done. I told him he either had to stay *out* of my life totally, or *fix* what he had broken (my trust in him, our friendship, his integrity, etc.).
Soooo, it *might* make a difference to some posters who were hurt by your behavior if you could somehow *fix* the situation. Obviously, there is no way to take back any pain or deception caused by past actions. What I mean by *fix* it, is kind of what you are doing. Coming clean, answering questions, being patient and understanding of people's anger, and then try to build up trust again.
Each new person here has to establish credibility. You have to establish it again, and know that it'll take some more doing than a new person because of your past actions. In addition, and this will be tough, take people's comments here to heart, even the ones that really hurt, and try to see if they are warranted. If so, see what you can do to change things. Bring some good out of the situation by learning from it. Bring some good out of it by showing others that that type of past behavior is really destructive, to you and the people hurt by your behaviors. Maybe you'll stop someone else from doing the same thing.
And even if some people never forgive, I truly believe that you would be taking the truly good ethical path of trying to fix what's broken. If you caused pain in others, it's your responsibility to help assuage that pain to the best of your ability. If some people never forgive you, you will still feel better about *yourself* for taking action and trying to right the wrong. You've started down the right path. :-)
My friend chose to stay out of my life because he doesn't (and he's right about this) have the strength or the emotional wisdom to be able to reestablish trust, integrity, etc. I forgive him for abandoning me when I really needed someone, but I cannot allow him in my life or condone his past actions. You've got the opportunity to be much strong than he is.
I wish you all the best. I've done some horrible things in this life, and if I hadn't been forgiven, I'd be much worse off today. On the other hand, sometimes I was forgiven, and I never really learned from those mistakes until it was way too late.
Good luck,
Susan
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krissy..
Posted by justyourlaugh on October 6, 2003, at 10:25:50
In reply to Re: Thank You » galkeepinon, posted by NikkiT2 on October 6, 2003, at 8:14:23
it is true you may not even remember the vile multiple posts you sent out to many many board members...
i have a bitter taste in my mouth and had i known you were "krissy" i would not have emailed you..
not that i cant forgive..(i dont think you are even here to ask for forgiveness)
i hate games..
i am walking away from all of the many people you pretend to be...
i wish you luck ..and that you will find out who you truely are..
jyl
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:265930
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/265930.html