Posted by Ilene on September 4, 2003, at 21:21:16
In reply to Re: don't call him, posted by Tabitha on September 4, 2003, at 13:21:27
> Another vote for NOT calling him. Just starve him out, don't give him any attention or hope. By making the excuse about the drinking, you were trying to be nice, but it gave him something to argue with. Next time if he forces a confrontation just tell him you're not interested, sorry. Don't engage in an argument about the reasons. Just repeat your position. For example, 'I'm sorry, I just don't want to date you.' 'I don't know exactly why, I just don't feel interested in dating you.' 'I know myself well enough to know my feelings won't change on this.' 'Sorry, you're not the right guy for me.'
>
> He'll find another target for his attention soon enough.Despite the fact that I can hardly ever bring myself to follow my own advice, don't give a reason for not seeing him, because he will always argue you down, e.g:
"What do you mean, you don't know exactly why?"
"Why aren't you interested?"
"Not good enough for you?"This is one of the only situations where "just say no" has any validity. "I'm so sorry, I can't do it, thanks for your time" might work. Then quitely and deliberately retreat.
Ilene
poster:Ilene
thread:256170
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/257101.html