Posted by Dena on August 28, 2003, at 19:32:17
In reply to Dena! Fallsfall! Galkeepinon!, posted by Temmie on August 28, 2003, at 19:05:45
Dearest (((Temmie))),
I'm so happy that you've had a good connection with J! He's sprouting his wings & trying to fly - he'll fall a few times, but he'll get back up. He's learned some lessons in strength from his tenacious Mama!
You asked how I am - you wouldn't believe how many people ask me that question per day - & I wish there were a word in the English language (or any language!) to describe how one feels for the first two weeks after losing a baby...
I feel stronger. I feel carried. I feel lifted up. I feel sheltered. I feel as if I'm re-awakening. When I look in the mirror, I don't see dead eyes looking back at me anymore. I followed my earlier advice to you & wore a frilly, lacy, feminine skirt today - just to the grocery store! Why not? I mean, my people gots to eat! I felt alive & connected with others. I believe I've come to a place of acceptance in this grieving process. It's sooner than I thought it would come, but I welcome it. I would also welcome any more waves of grief. After two decades of living as a numbed-out zombie, I welcome ANY emotion - even pain.
But, back to YOU - I think I saw you grow a couple of inches in maturity through this process with your son. Just as you grew some (not gruesome, LOL!) through your trauma with Paul. I love your transparency in sharing yourself with others - I wish you were my next-door-neighbor (do you like yard sales & flea markets?). We could put wild flowers in our hair, & flounce about town in our prettiest skirts!
I like riding roller coasters with you - especially when they're UP! Wheeeeeeeeeee!
Shalom, Dena
P.S. See you back on Psycho-Babble Faith...
poster:Dena
thread:255034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030818/msgs/255156.html