Posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:45:40
In reply to Re: Chronic Refractory AGGRESSION/ yesac, posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 18:47:35
> I know just what you mean. It's that inordinate response---some people would fail tests repeatedly in school and not even question whether or not they should go on living. A mystery to me.
Yeah, it's funny. I don't think that I've ever failed any test (oh god, sorry, not to make you feel bad!)... but the point is, even without failing, I question whether I should go on living all the time. Whether I am a "failure" and my life is pointless and I'll never "succeed". I guess it just means different things to different people, and people have different ways of judging themselves. There are some people who by all accounts could be considered a "loser" (including several of my ex-bfs and my sisters' ex-bfs --> we just seem to have that knack). Not that I would say such a thing about anyone. But anyways, these people might be totally happy and content though, or at least not really care about these things that haven't exactly worked out for them. I guess I'm rambling, sorry.
> You sound quite smart to me-- I want to be reassuring about your getting into college, but I know sometimes that's hard to take in or can make someone feel worse----ok, I'm really projecting now. I hate to be dumb, but what does GRE stand for?Thanks for the reassurance. You are right - it is sometimes hard for me to take such encouragement because I am just so filled with self-doubt. But it is nice, nonetheless, to have other people think that I seem worthy or smart or good in whatever way. I think somewhere deep down I believe it too, but I see my shortcomings above all else, and I see how much better other people are compared to me. GRE stands for Graduate Record Exam - it's a standardized test for getting into grad school - like the SAT except for grad school not college.
>
> I think it's really cool that you studied all that neuroscience in college, by the way.Thanks. It was a very fascinating major in many ways. But it also makes you realize how much you *don't* know.
> I've been in counseling but not with a psychotherapist during the past few years. Before that I had some pretty screwed up experiences with therapists, and just plain not-so-effective therapy.
Counseling not with a psychotherapist? What kind of counseling was it? That's too bad about your past therapy experiences. I think that it can just be really hard to find the right therapist. Like I said above (in the other thread), I really think that if that guy didn't strike you the right way, maybe he isn't for you. I don't think any therapist should ever make you feel pathetic... I think that they should always be gentle even if they are being confrontational, and they should show their compassion for you and your feelings, whatever they may be. At least that's what I expect from a good therapist for myself. I guess others might like it more rough!
> It's such a Catch 22 about the activity thing when you're depressed. It doesn't *always* make you feel better, but sometimes I try to push myself, but sometimes I'm just too tired, but then I'm lonely.....
Yeah, and there's no way to know. Sometimes I really do feel better. Other times, I feel just as bad being out and I can't wait to just get the activity over with and go home. Usually, though, I do feel glad that I actually did something.
poster:yesac
thread:250124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/250511.html