Posted by Tabitha on July 29, 2003, at 0:11:32
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... Update... Freedom!, posted by Tabitha on July 26, 2003, at 2:08:29
Warning: another long rambling post.
I got there today, my boss's boss (for brevity I'll call him boss-2) had sent me email with a whole list of tasks I'm supposed to get done by friday. This all in addition to what I'd agreed to do last week in our normal meeting. Weird, since for 2 mos I've barely been busy, and this isn't really stuff I'd normally do. It's like he's woken up to the fact that I'm not busy. But these tasks were all sort of beneath my level of what I'm supposed to do. Plus there's no way this stuff could possibly be finished in a week--it was ridiculous.
But anyway, I thought-- didn't the HR lady tell him what happened? So I went and told him my 2 week notice, and it was a surprise to him, and awkward. He didn't even know they had refused my leave. He asked me to stay one extra week til Aug 15 since it turns out my underling is on vacation Aug 1-15, which this is the first I'd heard of it. I said no, I was already planning a vacation for August, needed time to prepare, and that it's hard being here still with one foot out the door. (The one week doesn't really matter I don't think. I don't want them to have time to burden me with a bunch of last-minute goals.)
And none of these tasks are related to training a replacement or handing off my knowledge-- it's just using me to keep doing the work. Short-sighted use of my time at this point.
So why the guilt? It was just awkward that he didn't know what had happened, and apparently was still not believing I was going so soon. Initially I had said Aug 1, so I'm already staying a week longer than I wanted. He looked angry and hurt. Probably partly that the VP refused my leave that he had asked for for me, not just anger at me. Angry that he didn't have enough influence to get the leave for me.
He said he'd talk to my boss, who's on vacation. So if my last day is Aug 8 I won't even see my boss or my underling then. The Boss-2 is out the rest of this week, so I can announce my leaving to everyone.
I'm afraid people will try to drag complaints out of me, and make it a little drama, like I got pissed off over something and quit impulsively, and try to generally whip up something gossip-worthy for entertainment.
I just want out. It feels like constant painful stress now. I'm fighting guilt, and I think it's going to get worse tomorrow when I tell more people. My underling will probably be openly hostile and critical, since he's most likely to get stuck doing more work that would have been dumped on me.
Friday I told the HR lady I was still willing to negotiate my end date, possibly take a week off then come back to stretch out the total time, but this weekend I realized-- why should I keep taking care of them? If they had given me the leave status I'd feel like I had a reason to negotiate. Plus... I'm thinking of BurningMan 2003, which is last week of August, and takes a lot of preparation. Plus... it's just so hard leaving. I can't stand to drag it out longer. It's constant pain and stress.
Already the one person I trust most, I had told her what was happening, and today I told her August 8 was my last day, that they denied my leave, and she said 'so you just quit' and I immediately took it as criticism, which I'm sure it doesn't have to be, but I'm going to be interpreting everything as guilt-inducing from here out.
Aaaak!
poster:Tabitha
thread:243375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030727/msgs/246358.html