Posted by kara lynne on July 21, 2003, at 14:24:18
In reply to Re: Yep, I called him... I am so weak., posted by girl on July 21, 2003, at 13:46:47
You are human. And he called you first (??)
I am trying to regain some power by realizing that (at this point) my angst is no longer all about him. "He" becomes the focus of it all, but it's not really all about him.
My (for lack of a better term) 'dysfunction' has me repeateldy going back to places for love and validation where I will not get it. That is where I can get some power back--regaining control over that pattern.
You are going to kill me for saying this, and I'm sorry in advance, but you are young. Not that it doesn't hurt at much, because I believe it does, and not that you didn't invest a lot of time with him because you did invest a significant amount of time. I'm only saying that because you really do have so many opportunities ahead of you. Maybe you really will move to California, who knows?
And I go through the same thing--I told my therapist yesterday that I still wasn't over my first boyfriend--how would I ever get over this one? That's when she reminded me that I was repeating an unfinished pattern--God, I hate to sound so psycho-babbly (!) but it's true. It's not the guy, that's true; the guy was a first class alcoholic, abusive jerk. Why would I still want *that*? But something keeps me stuck.
She told me, and I will pass it on to you, that the key is 'forward movement'--something I find extremely difficult. You are already on track, you are working and doing things with your life--you are looking at possibilities for really moving, to another state.
The idea being that when you do your own life it gathers momentum, and brings you who and what you need to be happy.
This is so hard for me to do that I'm forgetting it while I'm writing the sentences, so I don't claim to be in any more enlightened a postition as you. Actually it's an opportunity for me to practice it myself, to try and share it with you.
Well I hope I haven't made you angry--I'm off to my pdoc to discuss more meds that I've already tried that won't work the 5th time around either.
With hope and hopelessness in the ring together--neck and neck...
Kara
poster:kara lynne
thread:243841
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/243939.html